Brian's Brief Encounters

This is an Unofficial Kaffe Fassett fanzine. Brought to you from a Leafy Suburb of the Throbbing Metropolis.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Rules And Regs

Don’t panic!

You haven’t been in an accident, fallen into a coma and then travelled through time. This is just a post-dated post to keep it at the top of the page.

Having been out to grass for a few months now, the penny has finally dropped: Knoll building isn’t very exciting; whereas embroidery is full of thrills, spills and endless possibilities. While I try to get my (non-profit) pattern swap-shop up and running there’s a slim chance that my tales from the needle-face may overlap with observations surrounding the other things I do that actually pay my mortgage.

Fortunately, those very nice people who insist on depositing money into my bank account every month have been able to offer me some much needed guidance should such an overlap occur:

1. Unless otherwise stated, nothing you read below represents the views or opinions of any official organisation, public body or private individual other than me.

2. I can’t tell you any secrets; which is just as well because I don’t know any.

3. I can’t be offensive or an ‘-ist’ of any description. I’m afraid that means I won’t be able to have a ‘Page 3 Stunna’ in case you were hoping for one.

4. You can’t give me any cash, presents or heavily discounted takeaway meals.

5. Even if hot-off-the-press embroidery breaking news stories should come to my attention while I’m at work I can’t tell you about it until I finish my shift and am safely away from any computer equipment belonging to my employer.

6. I have to consider the impact of any views and opinions I may express with regards to potentially damaging a public organisation or bringing it into disrepute. I have no desire to damage or diss the people who pay my wages but, this is something that is open to interpretation. Should I suffer an interpretation malfunction I’d like to invite my (very, very nice) employers to get in touch and point out my shortcomings so that I can rectify them.

Readers should note that this site is, essentially, aimed at fellow embroiderers seeking a little light relief and is in no way purporting to be in the slightest bit serious. If you’ve accidentally surfed in here in your quest for Bodycam ‘Journalism’ or for relief of a more hardcore nature then I’ll save you some time:

Happiness is but a click away.


At 6/6/06 10:31 AM, Blogger Tom Reynolds said...


(although you may be better off putting all this in your sidebar).

At 6/6/06 10:59 AM, Blogger crossboy said...

Hooray, does this mean a return to normal service? As interesting as tales of knoll building are, it wasn't that, that got me reading this blog in the first place.

At 8/6/06 12:45 PM, Anonymous AndrewM said...

Needlework? Are you sure you haven't been stitched up?

At 11/6/06 4:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some Human Resources person somewhere said that everyone changes career three times in their working lives. Since I started reading your blog you've been a copper, a knoll builder and an embroiderer. So, you doing this 'till you retire?

I thought that they'd put you on knoll building leave so that they could invent something to charge you with. Isn't four months enough for them to work out that the only charge they can bring is that the boss has a reality imbalance?

At 16/6/06 5:32 PM, Blogger policemonkey said...

Are you back?

At 17/6/06 10:44 PM, Blogger MuppetLord said...

Knoll building is a precise artform....the steel reinforced concrete is merely a design flaw...

At 25/6/06 5:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad to see that you're posting again Brian.
Sounds like some very interesting and sensible advice there from your employers.
Advice which I am sure you would not have thought of following all by yourself as you're not employed in a job where you have to utilise discretion trust and common sense on a daily basis.
Bless 'em

At 4/7/06 4:44 PM, Blogger Lizzy said...

From a long term career follower.
Advice needed:
In needlepoint is it always necessary to use a crewel needle or would a sharp suffice? oh and
please how do you do that date changing thing? I've seen other people seem tyo manage, but I'm a bit pathetic.
the equivalent of a young chap in the chemists I'm afraid.

At 14/7/06 12:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahh yes needlework. Do you find that the youth of today enagages in needlework?
Does the government provide enforced needlework courses for out-of-control youngsters on community service?


At 23/7/06 4:19 AM, Blogger Karyn said...


At 4/8/06 8:27 AM, Blogger Bystander said...

Don't some of HM's guests do needlework on mailbags?

At 2/12/06 11:55 AM, Anonymous Carl said...

Yeahhh !!! Is this a welcome back? I hope your starting commentary on Small corner again.

At 4/12/06 1:13 PM, Anonymous Carl said...

Are you going to reinstate your archives?

At 12/4/07 10:59 PM, Blogger MuppetLord said...

Are there specific needles one needs to buy to make good detail for the patterns?

At 21/1/08 12:12 PM, Anonymous corp lady said...

happy belated holidays.

At 28/10/08 5:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fantastic! Just trawling through my "Favourites" and trying to clear out dead links and there you are - back from knitting. Great to be able to read your musings again.
Keep it going!


At 10/11/08 9:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any chance you can put it all in your sidebar as you are always at the top on planet police becasue of your date. So when we go to look for new blog updates, we always have to trawl through this post first.

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