A Minor Indiscretion

I might have misled you.

Please don’t get upset.

Or impeach me.

It was an honest mistake which I regret. In my excitement over the Values Consultation, I tried to get into an intern slot at the ‘Together’ Team. Only to find out that I was already a member! Wow. I’ve never been an unwitting member of a team before. Let alone one as prestigious as this.

Mulling this over with the aid of a Montecristo Mini, my exuberance was quickly expelled. I believe I may have left you feeling cheapened and used. Soiled even. I believed I would be helping the career of some deserving soul. All the time they had me frantically looking after my own self-interests. Now that my excitement is in the public domain, I’m hoping it won’t come back to haunt me.

I didn’t lie to you intentionally. I fear, by first only telling you part of the story, you may think ill of me. To try and make amends I’ll give you a rundown of some more sections of the survey. Mr Kendall has told me to keep it brief.

2. “We must have Pride in what we do and Build on Opportunities to Learn”

We’re still “living” these values and will:

“Allow time for personal reflection”

This is the five minutes you are kept waiting before you get your scheduled, open and honest feedback.

“Allow staff the freedom to take risks and sometimes get it wrong”

I don’t think this one has been run past my mates in the Risk Assessment Empire.

“Appreciate the importance of getting the little things right”

That’s more like it.

“Preserve our shared knowledge”

Write everything down. For good measure transfer your written notes onto at least three different computer systems that still refuse to talk to each other.

“Identify where we could do better”

Hopefully, your feedback session has cleared this one up.

“Talk about and market our successes”

Great idea. Look out FooTSiE 100 here we come!


3. “We are all Leaders and believe that Leadership must be Modelled and Supported”

“Be visible”

You will wear your high visibility jacket in extremely hot temperatures. Others will make sure the TV cameras get their best side.

“Set vision and direction”

Yep, got those. Anyone got any ideas on the destination?

“Be selfless and act with humility for the common good rather than with personal agendas”

I think this one might have slipped past the censor’s defence.

“Be accountable for our actions and decisions”

This one too.

“Take responsibility for making difficult decisions and support others doing the same”

That’ll be three in a row. Time for a substitution methinks.

“Ensure that the leadership message comes from the very top”

Well saved. They had me worried there for a while.

I hope this has made amends for my earlier indiscretion and I trust no-one will be splashing leaked evidence on the front pages?

If you do, I can only say it constituted a critical lapse in judgment and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely and completely responsible.

Or, I’ll go ‘No Comment’.